The Legend of Briones and The Butcherknife is a story that begins with a man that lives high in the mountains of Routt County. Many familiar with the area know that the Yampa River flows through the town of Steamboat Springs, which is where this story takes place.
It all began on a specific New Year’s Eve many years ago when Briones, the man, decided to host a party for close friends and family at his home. It was a small first gathering, nothing special. And everyone left during the wee hours of January 1st the next year, feeling content and happy, for they knew that in another 364 days they would be returning to Briones’ abode to celebrate another year past and welcome anew.
And that they did, the close family and friends that had attended the previous year’s festivities, returned. Though this time began the start of something that no one could have foreseen. An entity that would, in the following years grow into something not of this earth.
Briones’ set of close family and friends took it upon themselves, because they loved Briones, and knew he would understand, began to bring friends to the Party. Friends outside of the core friends group. This is how it started, after the first year of elations and party favors, without notice, the return of warm bodies, whom had invited their external friends, all became close friends with Briones, whether Briones liked it or not. As Briones’ friend group grew exponentially, as so did the Gathering.
Now we must remember, that this was not the creation of a monster that came to be in the flash of a lightning strike. No. This is not Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein. This is a Monster that took many many years to come into being. Because Briones’ New Year’s Eve party had begun to get to a point far past its original intentions. Past the point of inexpensive effervescing Champagne. Past the point of mild manners and polite conversation. Past the point of sequined night gowns and agreeable slacks. Yes. the Beast had grown. And the Beast needed to be fed.
The Beast was now a costume party, with tasteless renditions of well known T.V. characters. Shoddily hobbled together wears that could represent everyone’s favorite A-team member. Briones, dressed as Mr. T, had now taken the lead. Briones the man, was now the Beast.
Attendance had grown from a few, to now HUNDREDS. There have been spotted close to 500 guests in regular attendance–It’s fangs now dripping with the converted alcohol of its favorite brew.
The Butcherknife, a nearby brewery became involved and is now part of the problem, for the brewery is the source of energy that feeds the Beast.
Briones, whom had become friends with the brewers and owners of the Butcherknife Brewery, knew what needed to be done. He knew, that if He was to get his fix, if He were to survive, He would need a special Brew. The Beast’s Brew as it should be known, an American barleywine it was. Brewed and bottled by the Brewery is sold and distributed by the bomber and is now the beverage of choice for the Beast. At 9.2% ABV and 96 IBU it is a killer Brew that only appendages of the Beast can appreciate. It is giant and gnarly. Any that touch their lips to this evil nectar, have been known to never return. Legend has it, that once tried, imbibers will first begin speaking in tongues. Shouting statements in aggressive tones like, “I pity the fool!” That is where it starts, then the addition of gold chains and tank tops become natural. Though it is not natural, and not funny. The final transformation ends with drinkers shaving their heads into a mohawk and growing obnoxious beards.
It is a sad state of affairs, that has led to the end of many a good soul, who now, with nowhere to go, find solace in the Beast.
Heed our fair warning, the Beast exists and Its long reaching fingers will grab all that come close to its grasp. Stay far away, and know The Legend of Briones and The Butcherknife.